OK - my friend and crit partner, Julie challenged readers of her Blog to post their own true funny story, so here's mine.
Years ago, I owned a tanning salon in Orlando. I get a phone call one day asking me to go out to one of the fancy hotels near Disney and show a "visiting dignitary" how to use a tanning bed she'd just purchased. The caller refused to tell me who "she" was but said they'd make it worth my while. So, being young and naive, I say, sure. I arrive at the hotel the next morning and check in at the front desk. They send me to a room upstairs. When I enter the room, there's a bank of cell phones (this was long before they were in wide use and the phones were massive). Several men have earphones in their ears attached to wires that led under their shirts. A huge chalkboard had schedules for several people written on it. One of these security guys takes me to another wing and goes into a room with me. He says the dignitary is the crown princess of Saudi Arabia, who can not tan in public - she must stay too covered up. Now, the door is open and three small kids walk by in full horseback riding gear and the security guy says "Good morning, your highness" to each of them. He tells me the Princess is finishing her breakfast and will let him know when she's ready for me. Then he asks me how long my husband had been a cop. So I look at him funny and said, "I never told you guys that." He just smiles and says, "You were not chosen at random." Weird.
A few minutes later, his earphone makes noises and he says her highness (which is how I must address her) is ready. He walks me to her suite and lets me in. She's very gracious and very beautiful. I tell her she shouldn't shower after she tans for at least 2 hours to get the maximum effect. So, she says she must take a shower - now. She leaves me alone in the living room while she goes and takes a shower. Half an hour later, she comes out and I show her how to use the bed. She asks me to stay for her session. So, here's the Princess in a bathing suit on a tanning bed and me, twiddling my thumbs.
When her session is up, she gets out, thanks me and hands me three hundred-dollar bills. "Thank you, your highness," I say before leaving. As an American, the worlds feel strange on my tongue. I go back to the security room for "debriefing" and then am permitted to leave. A very strange morning. Sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction.